City Code Inspectors Harass Little Old Ladies

What is it little old ladies chatter about at church functions? Well, it probably should be their grandchildren, but that wasn't the case one recent Sunday afternoon. They chattered up a storm about the rain and how they hadn't been able to cut their yards. Each of them feared reprisal from the local code enforcement officers, because their weeds were more than eight inches high.

Was it because their neighborhoods were safe from drug dealers and the influence of drunk drivers? Not really, a drunk driver drove through one old lady's fence more than 15 feet in from the curb at a corner stop sign. It seems his vehicle missed hitting the corner of her home by less than a foot.

But... the code inspector was busy measuring her weeds, determining that the brush pile she had waiting to be picked up by her trash barrel was a community hazard and threatened her with a fine or jail term if she didn't get it picked up. Where was he when the drunk drove down the street? Perhaps, had he been there, he could have pulled the drunk driver over before he drove through the little old lady's fence?

Instead, he was across town with a friend of the little old lady, pulled to the side of the road fining her for having the light over her license plate burned out. Didn't it used to be a community service of police officers to install a new light bulb when they pulled a vehicle over for this particular problem? Isn't there still a sign on the side of their vehicle that says "To protect and to serve"?

Tree House Maffia - A Fence Locked Beyond Repair

Padlocked and labeled, this fence contains dangerous animals, only a few of which are dogs. With his tree house built high in the branches of an old elm tree, this neighbor can focus his camera and telescopic lens on most any neighbor, listen in on most any conversation, and sell his drugs without the harassment of the local police department. In fact, this pristine white painted fence, prior to the demolishing tear across the metal, was upheld as the perfect yard fence by the city code inspector. Of course, nobody else can get away with the padlocked gate preventing entrance by even the city code inspector.

I wonder what this decadent neighbor was carrying out of his house in five gallon buckets a few years back, and hauling off in his truck? Could it be the dirt for a basement he didn't have a permit to build?

Reagan, we need you to say, "Tree house maffia, tear down that wall!"

Rendition Tom Sawyer Classic Fencing

Every child remembers at least one classic Tom Sawyer moment, painting a fence, borrowing trouble or tooling down the Mississippi with Black Jim, wishing you didn't have to wake up from your dream and go back to school in the morning. Well, this neighbor brought the tradition of classic Tom Sawyer to life with fiberglass rendition fencing.

When the Neoplan Bus factory skipped out on Lamar, Colorado, leaving more than 800 workers without jobs, they left behind plenty of their well branded white fiberglass bus siding for --- you guessed it --- fences. These treasure points offer Sawyer Proof advantage, no painting needed. Simply pound a nail through the middle and let them warp into place. You don't need hedge clippers, just let the saplings grow right up to support the leaning masses of fiberglass points on the picket fence and you've got a spiffy backyard edging, classed up by overgrown weeds. Don't mind those weeds, the City Code Inspector will be by shortly to announce that your civic duty is lacking and if you don't cut those weeds shorter than the apprized required length of eight spiffy inches, you'll be carted off to the Graybar Hotel and served three squares, a rock hard bed and all the televized Obama you can suffer.

Tom Sawyer would be proud to live in this neighborhood.